02 June 2011

Food "fun"

I have such a love/hate relationship with food. We both love it and hate me. Okay, that's not quite true. I don't hate me. Usually. But I'm starting to really hate food because it is such a pain in my ass, both literally and figuratively. I have a host of food intolerances, as do my husband and kids. So cooking supper is a royal pain.

Snap: intolerant* of gluten and dairy
HATES fruit. I mean, will not eat a piece of fruit for $50 and unlimited computer access. She will not even touch it, never mind eat it. This extends to fruit flavoured candy, pop, whatever. Will happily eat a salad as long as there are no mushrooms or celery in it. Noodles are the best thing ever. Except mashed potatoes or plain white rice. The girl is addicted to carbs.

Crackle: intolerant of gluten, dairy, soy, corn,and  nuts
Oh my. Where to even begin with this boy? He will eat anything on the promise that he will get some chips after. Or Daiya cheese substitute (he's allergic to bloody everything). Favourites (i.e. things that don't require the promise of chips) include salmon, iceberg lettuce, any fruit, carrots, celery, cauliflower. The only thing he absolutely will not eat is mushrooms. Oh, and sweet potatoes or squash. He will not eat noodles of any sort. Hell if I know why not.

Pop: intolerant of gluten, soy, and eggs. Dairy unknown, but we don't eat that. I mean, ew... it's the breast milk of another mammal. ew. fucking ew.
He will eat almost anything, but it must must must be on the blue plate or bowl. He has about 100 words and they include quinoa (keeee - ya! [ki:ya]**)  and broccoli (bwa-dee! [bwadi]), which are his two favourite things ever. He begs me for chickpeas. He'll eat any meat, fish, vegetable (except squash) or fruit. He's my favourite. :) He will not eat noodles of any sort. Hell if I know why not.

* Intolerances in our house range from "well, that makes me feel shitty - literally and figuratively" to "OMG! I'm bleeding from my ass!" to "OMFG, I am a hummingbird meth-head and I'm bleeding from my ass"
** I'm a trained linguist. I am unable to pass up using proper IPA in situations like this.

1 comment:

bettyfokker said...

Okay, I am officially going to stop bitching about my picky eaters. It is no were near the hassle you have to go thru!