04 August 2011

My escape artist

Crackle escaped today. Gave me the scare of a lifetime. Here's the story: The garbage truck pulled up, prompting Pop to go wild screaming "OH NO! TRUCK! OH NO!" which just means, "TAKE ME OUT TO SEE THE TRUCK BEFORE IT GOES AWAY!" So, I took a glance at Crackle, who was jumping on the trampoline in the backyard, and stepped out the front door, leaving it open a crack so I could hear him if he fell or decided to eat coffee grounds or climb the stove, etc. Pop and I stood less than 5 feet from the front door and watched the truck pull up, empty the garbage cans, set them down and leave. So, literally, less than 4 minutes. During that time, I turned to the door twice to make sure the dog hadn't gotten out. He hadn't, the door was still just a crack open. So once the truck left, I turned around again and saw the door was open more. Figured it was the wind, or the dog nosing it open to see what we were doing. I went around to the back to check on Crackle. No Crackle. I checked his hiding spots. Nope. I ran up the stairs to his room. Nope. OMG. THE DOOR WAS OPEN. So I ran out the front and started hollering his name. Which frankly, was stupid, since he doesn't respond to his name, and just blocked out the sound of his vocal stim. I looked down the lane and didn't see him. I went quiet to listen and I could just barely hear him saying "Oh neee ah. Oh neee nyo." He's loud though, so I knew he was a ways a way. I was FREAKING. I ran back to the house to call the RCMP and my husband and there he was, walking up the sidewalk GRINNING his face off. He was so proud of himself. *sigh* What really gets me, is the little bugger must have watched to see that I wasn't looking and sneaked past me in the other direction. There's a building right behind where I was standing, so he'd have to have only gone one direction, the only one I couldn't see peripherally. Bugger.

I'm calling that my aerobic exercise for the day. What? It got my heart racing, didn't it?

This, after having only 3 hours sleep last nigh because wtf, he's 5 and has insomnia. I'm already past my 3rd shot of espresso this morning, and he's functioning on what? He's playing with a transformer toy right now. Optimus Prime. I make it into a semi truck and then he tries to make a robot out of it. About halfway through he gives up, or decides it's good enough and I have to transform it back into a truck.

On another note, Betty Fokker over at The Stay-at-Home Feminist has asked me to post 7 fun facts about me. So here goes:
1. I've got a weird memory for numbers. I can remember the phone numbers of the kids I was friends with in elementary school. Denise was 543-9358. I haven't used that number in 32 years.
2. I also have a weird memory for words. It's why I am good at learning languages. However, it's not like numbers. If I don't use them, they're temporarily gone. So, I got an A+ in German, but remember none of it. However, I could be basically fluent if I went there for a month or so. A month later, it'd be gone.
3. I really like symmetry. It can get a little stupid at times. I will rearrange the eggs left in the carton so they're in a symmetrical pattern. And the values that the tv settings are at are all perfect squares.
4. When I was pregnant, I craved mustard. MUSTARD! On everything. I put it on risotto.
5. I've had a bad back since I was 11 and some kids on a tobaggan used me as a jump. I don't think they meant to, but I was badly hurt. Silver lining? I got out of PE for the rest of the year. *SO* worth it.
6. I once punched a guy for trying to throw a girl into the snow. She was screaming at him and begging him not to, saying he was hurting her and would ruin her silk skirt. She called me a crazy bitch.
7. I have never once managed to lose a single pound by dieting. I don't even mean, I dropped a few and put back on more. I mean, it simply does not matter how much or little I eat, I do not drop weight by dieting or ramping up exercise. I just don't drop weight. Except sometimes completely randomly. Like when my foot was broken and I couldn't do anything but sit on my ass and eat. Then I dropped 12 lbs. About 6 of those are back.

So there. That was fun. And now I'm hungry. It occurs to me that 3 espressos with steamed almond milk is probably not enough to eat.