30 May 2013

God doesn't think She's a doctor, so how come doctors think they're God?

Dr. Ego wrote a letter to my doctor and copied me on it. Gist? There's nothing wrong with me that a little counselling couldn't fix. Literally, he said, "Despite her protestations, I suspect that Ms. FCS is suffering from stress, and could benefit from counselling"

Dr. Ego? I already get counselling. He didn't ask. I fully well and truly believe that everyone would benefit from counselling. Everyone. So yeah, I'm already doing that, but whatever. I just hope my doctor doesn't take his words as gold. If she does, I'll inform her that Dr. Ego said that she was stupid for sending me to him in the first place. "These gps. So stupid. They have no idea that these numbers [out of range labs] are normal. So they waste my time sending perfectly healthy people to me."


Forgive me Comrades, for I have sinned. It has been two weeks since my last blogpost. And that was a screaming rant. I'll get down on my knees... wait? Is this still the confessional?!

Okay. I'm a bit off today, OBVS. :) Crackle and Pop have been sick. Right. So then, back to puking kids. Crackle and Pop are so different, in every way. Even how they puke. Pop politely asks for a pail and then delicately pukes. Crackle does something worthy of a horror movie. Isn't motherhood glamorous? :)
Tony's had it too. I'm holding it all together, and as soon as they're better, I have plans to fall the fuck apart. The last couple of weeks have been blood and vomit-filled. Doctor visits... DIGRESSION ALERT!

I saw a new doctor yesterday. An endocrinologist. A man with the ego the size of Minneapolis (I don't know why I picked Minneapolis, it was the first city that popped into my head. Aren't there cities in Canada I could have chosen? Probably.) Right. So Dr Ego is an old white man, which I think leads him to believe he can be a condescending prick if he so chooses. Some snippets of the appointment:

Dr Ego: What disease have they put into you?
Me: Ha! (thinking, okay, this guy could be all right!) Good question. I think they want you to answer that though.
Dr Ego: Whatever it is, you don't have it. You're fine.
Me: Well, that's good to hear, but since I'm here anyway...
Dr. Ego: Yeah, I might as well go through the motions. Ya never know. There are some outliers. But I can tell you now, you're fine. I can tell by looking.
Me... Uh...
My brain: ABANDON SHIP! ABANDON SHIP! No, wait, you'll get a good post out of this. Stay and take notes!

About 4 minutes later:
Dr. Ego: So, you work out a lot, do you?
Me: Yes. I go for long hikes up steep hills, quite regularly. If it's not pouring, about 4 times a week.
Dr. Ego: And you can't lose weight?*
Me: Nope. Nothing seems to help.
Dr. Ego: You eat too much.
Me: No, I don't.
Dr. Ego: Yes, you do.
Me: No. I don't. Because of the Celiac, I've been with a dietician off and on. I eat 1200-1500 calories per day, and ...
Dr Ego Interrupticus: I doubt it.
Me: Excuse me?
Dr Ego: Well, what kind of calories?
Me: Oh, so that matters now? Well, I'm about 95% vegan.
Dr Ego the Super Douchecanoe: *mutterssomethingthatsoundslikebullshit*

*I didn't actually tell him I wanted to lose weight either. He assumed it since I weigh about 180 lbs.

Dr. Ego: So your daughter has Hashimoto's?
Me: Yes.
Dr. Ego: What is Hashimoto's? (He's an endocrinologist; this is his specialty. This is clearly designed to find out what I think it is, not ignorance)
Me: It's an autoimmune disease that...
Dr. Ego Interrupticus: NO. It is not a disease. (also)
Me: Okay... Disorder?
Dr. Ego: NO. It's a condition.
Me: Okay... autoimmune condition then.

Dr. Ego: You're tired because you have 4 kids.
Me: 3. Only 3.
Dr. Ego: Then why did you put 4 on the form?
Me: I didn't.
Dr. Ego: Yes, you did.
Me: No. I didn't.
Dr. Ego, flipping through the papers, muttering, 'well, I didn't read it wrong': Oh. Yes, 3.

Dr Ego: Your memory recall is fine.
Me: Not really. I can't remember my own doctor's name, right now.
Dr. Ego: Well, you're getting older.
Me: I'm 38! And this was fine last year!
Dr. Ego: You're not as young as you used to be.

Dr. Ego: Beware of the crap on the internet. There are a lot of idiots out there.
My brain: And in here. Also, those idiots are my friends. (Hi idiots!)
Me: Yes. I know. I'm a researcher, or I was, anyway, and I can weed out the good stuff from the crap.
Dr. Ego. Don't worry yourself with this stuff though. Just stay off the internet.
Me: No, I'm a researcher by nature, and I will worry more if I don't understand. I know good research from a bunch of morons jawing on a bulletin board.
Dr. Ego. I doubt that very much.
Me: Well, that's your call.

And, my favourite:
Dr. Ego: The amount of gluten in Synthroid can't hurt someone with celiac disease. It's tiny.
Me: Any amount of gluten is dangerous to someone with Celiac disease.
Dr. Ego: That's simply not true. That amount would not be noticed by the body.
Me: That has not been my experience.
Dr. Ego: It just doesn't work that way.

*sigh* THEN, he had the nerve to tell me that other doctors mismanage Hashimoto's terribly, and that I should get my daughter a referral to him. Um. Look. I have thick skin. I left there laughing about this guy. If I took Snap there, one of three things would likely happen:

Scenario 1: Snap shuts down entirely and refuses to answer him. Eventually starts to cry. Doesn't stop for hours.
Scenario 2: Snap tells him to fuck off and die, storms out, and leaves me standing there. Then cries for hours afterward
Scenario 3: Snap grudgingly answers questions, and then is utterly furious with me for a week for taking her to him. Any new attempts to get her to a new doctor are ignored.

Okay, that was a long digression. But necessary. This old man decided by looking at me that a) Nothing was wrong with me; b) I eat too much and am too stupid to know how much that is; c) I'm too stupid to use the internet responsibly, know how many kids I have, know what is normal for myself or know what my own body is doing with gluten.

As in any walk of life, there are good doctors and bad doctors. And this week, the medical profession lost a good one in Dr. Morgentaler. What a man. He didn't dismiss women as stupid and punish them for being pregnant. He listened to what we needed and fought to make it legal for us to have autonomy of our own bodies. I am so happy that he had the courage to do what he did. Making abortion legal for women across Canada was stunning. Opening in St. John's, to hundreds of protesters, so that women had better access? Amazing. This man saved so many women's lives, it is truly humbling. Rest in Peace, good sir.