18 January 2009

Wannabe pacifist

That's me. Luna, the wannabe pacifist. I really and truly believe in pacifism. If no one fought, if no one resisted violently, if people refused to fight wars for the evil overlords, even at the expense of their own deaths, the world would be a hell of a lot better place.

But I'm a coward. I am simply too afraid of losing my family, my way of life, my own life, to not fight back if it comes to that. I'd kill someone who tried to kill my family. I'd kill someone who tried to kill my dog, probably. I know the law says that it's justified (at least in the case of the former), but my ethics do not. Thou Shalt Not Kill doesn't have any exception clauses that I can see. And yet I know without a shadow of a doubt that if someone were raping my daughter, I'd kill him with my bare hands and any weapon I could get them on. And I'd know it was wrong. But I'd still do it.

I seriously admire true pacifism. I honestly think it is more cowardly to fight than it is to stand up for peace, to refuse to be part of war, to be a tool of violence.

Now, for the love of God, please don't interpret this as "The troops are cowards". That is so not where I'm going. HELL NO. It is fucking scary to be faced with killing someone. And if your beliefs about pacifism don't mirror mine, and clearly they don't if you're in the military, then it takes a lot of courage to do what is required of you and kill the person shooting at you. Especially, if you're wondering if it's the right thing. You have to trust in your leaders, trust in their ability to make the right decision. And that takes mountains of courage.

I don't know where I was going with this. But I'll leave it here so I don't ramble on too much more.