05 January 2010

The little things that make my day

I've said before, and I'll say again, it's the little things that make up life. So while yesterday I was bitching and moaning and feeling all sorry for myself, today I have some little happy things to talk about.

For example, I am adopted. I have great parents. Mom is a bit too much of a clean-freak for me, and her reluctance to scream "Bullshit" at doctors drives me nuts, but other than that, she's pretty awesome. Dad, who died in 2007, was pretty cool too. He had a very dry wit, and took no (or very little) shit from anyone. There was an Saskatchewan MLA who used to come into his workplace all the time, and strut around like she owned the place. Dad always pretended not to know who she was, and would ask her name Every Time. Hahahaha. Then after doing this a few times, he made a pun on the name of the other MLA she was rumoured to be sleeping with, making it damn good and clear he knew exactly who she was. God, I loved that old man.

I took that little trick and played it on Grant Devine (former premier of Saskatchewan) when I worked at a garage where he got his car fixed. He'd come in to pick his car up, and I'd ask who he was so I could get his bill. LOL. He looked *so* offended. And he's just about DIE when I'd ask him to repeat it. Now I do it to Keith Martin and his ASSistant (I don't love Martin, but his assistant? Gah. He's an idiot and a half.) Hah! Makes my day.

And I swear, there is nothing better than speaking Cree or Nakota to an old native guy who is clearly being an asshole. Especially because I'm whiter than snow. Dad loved this story. I was at a hockey game at Ochapowace (a reserve in Saskatchewan), and there was a dude speaking Nakota to another one. I know a smattering of it, and the guy had earlier proven himself to be an Epic Prick. So, I thought it would be fun to fuck with him a bit, and went over to him and introduced myself. In Nakota. The guy wasn't looking at me, and just replied back to me. So then I asked him if I could buy him a coffee. Again, in Nakota. He turned and looked at me and was just dumbfounded, and his friend was highly amused. The jerk said, in English, "Uh, okay. Sure." I replied, asking if he wanted cream and sugar. Again, in Nakota. Finally, dude narrows his eyes and says, "How do you know my language, white girl?" I said, "I was listening from over there, and I picked it up. It's not that hard." Dude stared at me and then stomped away. His buddy laughed so hard he nearly peed. When he stopped, he said he'd by me that coffee, because no one had EVER rendered that guy speechless before. I told him where I'd learned it, and he swore never to share it with the grump. :)