27 October 2015

Passing the crocheted hat


What. A. Month. New government. Fewer teeth for Crackle (surgery involved). Snap got a new job and went on a vacation by herself. Pop's flying through Grade 1 faster than I can blink. Piano lessons, drives to the airport. Doctors. The constant cooking. It's a good life.

I've got little to say about the new government. I'm cautiously optimistic about Trudeau. I'm disappointed, but not surprised about the NDP's utter failure. And I'm ecstatic to see the end of the Con rule. You know, this is the first time in the life of either of my boys that we we not have Stevil for PM. It's a bit shocking, really.

I'm in a bit of a "every fucking thing is the same" mood lately. First sign of depression for me. Hopefully, I don't disappear down that rabbit hole again.

So, to get myself out of this funk, I'm doing some fundraising. A friend of mine is in her 30s and just had an aortic bypass (she's got a weird disease). Her daughters have the same disease. Her mother died from it last year. They were getting by okay. When she got sick, they held her job. When she came back and needed accommodation, they fired her. So then they were just getting by. Now her husband got laid off. They're going to end up homeless by the end of January if they don't find something. So I'm raising them some cash. If only to pay their heating bills.

It seems to me that people are more willing to donate if they have incentives, so here are some things I can do:

Ridiculously bad haiku: $5
Crochet hat: $25 ($30 if you want real wool - as opposed to acrylic). Other crocheted items possible.
Family tree/genealogy research: $50 
Custom Luna-style (i.e. full of f-bombs) video retelling of any Bible story: $100

I think the family tree research could make a great gift for your parents or grandparents. I was able to find a picture of Tony's grandmother's grandparents that she'd never seen. She'd never seen them at all, as they died before she was born. I've found marriage records for gggg-grandparents. I've proven M├ętis heritage. I've proven people were related to celebrities or descended from royalty. I've even tried to prove someone was related to Kevin Bacon. Okay.. that was me (Bacon is a family name), and I'm not related to him or Sir Francis, much to my annoyance. I am related to Bertrand Russell and Johann Wilhelm Hassler though, so that's even better.

Okay, about the Bible stories... here's the deal. One of the girls who works here has NO Bible knowledge, and she asked me what the deal was with Jonah and the whale. So I told her the story, my way, with things like, "So then Jonah said, "Okay! For fuck's sake. I get it. I will go to fucking Nineveh. Now let me out of this fucking fish. It stinks in here." And then God said, "Deal" and whale puked Jonah up onto the beach." The SEA thinks this is brilliant and now I tell her (and some of the others) the stories this way. They laugh uproariously and have told me to make a YouTube channel and do this regularly, but I don't have time for that shit.

I will also take donations for nothing, obviously. I can take an interac transfer or Paypal. The email address to use is a gmail.com address with the first part being selenie. (That's my way of not getting all the spam). You can also email that address to contact me if you are more of a cheque kinda person.

UPDATE: Here is her GoFundMe page. She's understating her need. Their washing machine recently broke and now she's handwashing all their clothes.


Luna said...

To donate via PayPal or interac, use the email selenie (@) gmail dot com

And thank you.

Luna said...

To donate via PayPal or interac, use the email selenie (@) gmail dot com

And thank you.