03 February 2011


I have a really restricted diet. This is because there are a lot of foods that make me sick. Fat? I don't care. My philosophy has pretty much always been, "I'll eat what I want, when I want". And I do. Except that I can't eat a number of foods because they make me sick. So I don't eat them. Gluten, dairy, and meat are the big three. I also don't eat eggs because they make my little Pop sick when he nurses after I eat them. And I keep sugar on the downlow because the boys go CRAZY on it.

I recently ran into an awesome blog by someone who preaches my food philosophy. Eat good food. Eat food. Stuff you like. As much as you want. If that makes you fat, so be it. Health can be had at any size. I love her. :)

So I eat whatever I want. This means that today, I've had two huge salads with dill salad dressing, an avocado, a handful of potato chips (baked Kettle chips are the BEST things EVER), some crackers with peanut butter, a cup of apple cider and some leftover mashed potatoes. I'm going to have tofu on salad tonight. :) And definitely a big glass of wine.

I'm really appalled at the shaming of fat people. I'm no where near the range that it would happen to me if I dared to eat a doughnut in public or something. I do, however, get the concern trolls. The worst kind though, the ones who don't even know they're trolls. They've bought into the idea that obesity = death and fat = GROSS so badly, that they honestly think they're helping. For example, I was buying avocados the other day and this lady came up to me to tell me how fattening they are. I said, "I know, that's the point". She looked horrified. I wasn't in a mood to be too mean, so I said, "The baby is underweight." She was so relieved, it was comical. So I just said, "And I love them too. Lots of good Omegas." She said, "But they're so fattening! So many calories. You shouldn't eat them!" I said, "Meh, I don't care about any of that. I eat what I want" And then I walked away while she looked flabbergasted. (Get it? FLABbergasted? HAHAHA! I kill me.)

Another recent development is people's reactions to my weight loss. If you're a careful reader of all my posts, and why wouldn't you be, you'll remember I lost a bunch of weight recently. While I sat on my ass doing nothing but crochet because my foot was broken. I'm down a size or two in jeans. Honestly, is 16 to 14 one size or two? And why isn't sizing in inches like it is for men? Oooh, digression. Anyway, I lost some weight. I couldn't tell you how much, because my scale is broken and I don't feel like buying a new one. And the reactions from people who know me are rather pissing me off. I've told them that it's unexplained weight loss, that I wasn't trying to lose weight, and they're still going on and on about how great it is. Ya know, that does two things: (a) it tells me people don't give a shit about my health. Or they equate it with weight loss. Which is b.s. My Mom lost a third of her body weight before her stupid doctor bothered to find out why - it was renal failure. (b) These same people think I looked icky before I lost the weight. Am I still icky in their eyes? At what weight would I be thin enough for their f'd up sense of health and beauty? When would I start being too thin, that they'd start making sure I didn't have an eating disorder? Which, you know, is something that only affects thin people. *snort*

You know, I wouldn't have a problem with,
"Have you lost some weight recently?"
"Yup" "Ahh. Thought so." or "Good thing?"
"Don't care"

It's the assumption that I must hate how I look. It's really frustrating.


NuWine Press said...

Crunch crunch I'm about to have a veggie-ham sammich with smoked cheese while I work on a poem for NuWine Press - a liberal Christian publishing house sponsoring a poetry contes tthat's lgbt, feminist friendly. Mebbe the smoked cheese will light my words on fire! Chomp!

Anonymous said...

Re: reactions to weight loss: man, don't get me started. Haha.

As we've talked about recently, I have digestive issues upon issues. Back in 2003-2004, I got sick. MINDBLOWINGLY sick. Eventually, there were only 2 things that I could ingest without running for the bathroom: saltine crackers and Coke. I had dropped from about 160lbs to 95lbs in a matter of months.

A friend of mine - who, tellingly, is no longer my friend - asked me what I was doing to lose so much weight. I explained to her how sick I was. She said, and I seriously quote: "I wish I could have that problem! Look how skinny you are! Look how easy it was!"


So yeah: This is the society we live in, where thin is far, far greater and more prized than actual health.

And now you got me thinking about avocados; I think I need to get me some of those today!

Luna said...

Casey: Yeah, Mom got the same shit. "Oh you have renal failure? Well, at least you slimmed down!"

I once heard a radio announcer talking about some stupid weight loss drug he was taking and how it was screwing with his short-term memory. He said, "Oh well. Better stupid than fat!" Damn that's sad.